Chi Mokaman is focused on what is, not what was. 

"Truth and reconciliation is about what we do today. And what we do in the future," he said, sitting in the Saint John Tool Library where he spends his days creating art that will uplift his community.

"It's about what we do collectively and to make a difference in our community, all for the next generation. That's what reconciliation is."

But that's not the only thing truth and reconciliation can mean, he added.

"I respect deeply what truth and reconciliation is for other people. I know it's a different reality for other people … I'm not here to speak for anybody but myself." 

Mokaman is a Mi'kmaw wood-carving artist born in New Glasgow, N.S.

After arriving in Saint John last year, he's been carving works that will be raffled off as part of the tool library's Reconciliation in Action program, which will support the Saint John Community Food Basket and First Steps, a transitional house for mothers aged 16 to 29 in need of shelter and support.

"When I know I'm supposed to speak of something, I do that through carving. And the relatives come and help me tell that story," Mokaman said. 

Mokaman hasn't always been connected to the culture of his community. 

"I walked in a very different way. I walked with addictions, I walked with a lot of struggle," he said. "And it took a lot of years to heal. And the carving was one of the medicines that I was privileged to be given by the Creator to help me heal."

He said the community he grew up in didn't connect him to his identity. 

"There was no culture. There was just abuse, more abuse. And none of that existed. You had generations where people were deeply wounded. And the consequences of being wounded are you harm yourself and other people." 

Mokaman said he sees the harm he did to himself as the most detrimental. 

"I've had bad things happen and as most people on the earth have. I'm not unique. But it's what I did to myself." 

He said he didn't understand what it meant to be Indigenous until he was in his 30s, which is when he began connecting with First Nations communities while living on the West Coast. 

"All of those elders that came into my path, the Creator brought those people into my path. The ancestors brought those people into my path. They helped me become what I was always meant to be.

"I wasn't meant to be a wounded person that did self-harm, I was meant to do what I'm doing today."

While on the West Coast, he met other artists. 

"I came into a place where there were other carvers. And I walked, that was the beginning of my healing journey. When I got clean and I started to heal."

He arrived in Saint John last year. He came across the Saint John Tool Library in a characteristically Chi Mokaman way, by trying to do something nice for someone else. 

He wanted to carve a small piece for someone and heard he might be able to find some wood at the tool library. But he found a lot more.

"Everything that I could dream of is in this place," he said. "Everything that allows me to be Chi is here."

Throughout the summer, Mokaman has been part of a community project that will honour the memory of Sheila Croteau, an elder who died in a house fire in April 2020. 

Croteau was an active member of the Saint John community.

"Sheila was everywhere. You know, like I have met so many people that this lady touched. [She was] a beautiful, beautiful lady who shared her culture, shared her heart and protected the children. That's what she was about."

When Croteau died, Jennifer Mitton, a close friend of the family, told CBC News, "She would do anything for anyone. People felt that they could talk to her and find peace, no matter what they were going through."

An honour platform has been set up behind the tool library. The platform, which was built by tool library founder Brent Harris and students who train with him, is a wooden deck in the library's backyard. The platform is not done yet. In the spring, a garden and wooden fence will surround it. 

On that platform will be a wood carving that represents who Croteau was and honours her family. The carving is being done by Mokaman and other members of the tool library. 

The piece Mokaman will contribute to that carving may have been done with his hands, but he doesn't see it as his carving. He said he sees it as something done by the community and Croteau's family to honour her memory, in which he is privileged to play a role.

 A hummingbird flies off the front of the carving, which Mokaman said represents nourishment. 

"Sheila was all about nourishing her community, with her heart and the gift that she was in life. And what she did most was heal and help people heal."

That healing is represented in tears that drip from the bird's breast and fall in front of a hollowed out circle. That's the circle of life, he said, "and the tears will represent the healing to the circle of life." 

On his own journey of healing, Mokaman said reconciling what he's done to himself and what that's made him do to others has been the most difficult. 

"But there's a point where I recognize that's what was. Now, you have the opportunity to make a difference for what is."

Lane Harrison is a reporter for CBC New Brunswick based in Saint John. You can reach him at lane.harrison@cbc.ca

With files from Rachel Cave

Add some “good” to your morning and evening.

A variety of newsletters you'll love, delivered straight to you.

Audience Relations, CBC P.O. Box 500 Station A Toronto, ON Canada, M5W 1E6

Toll-free (Canada only): 1-866-306-4636

It is a priority for CBC to create a website that is accessible to all Canadians including people with visual, hearing, motor and cognitive challenges.

Closed Captioning and Described Video is available for many CBC shows offered on CBC Gem.